I am still struggling with how to manage my new health situation, work, and family. I’ve been to the office this week roughly 9-4 and I am so tired. I know that I still have the effects of chemo and that I should not expect to return to my previous energy levels right away. It is still hard though. It makes me nervous for the upcoming semester when I will have much more work to do. I suppose it will be whatever it is and that somehow the work will get done. Other than feeling tired my fingers and toes hurt. I’m certain that several nails will fall off. That has never happened to me even with years of running. Yuck. It will take time to grow new nails.
I did manage to run/walk 4.25 today. Progress.
Next up – PET and ultrasound on Aug. 6th. We will use that data to decide about radiation.
This week was my last treatment of taxol! I have felt pretty good until today. Today I am tired and down. It is that same feeling – just wanting this to be over with. On some level I know that my feeling tired is the medicine working which is a good thing. But when you are really too tired to carry on a conversation with your son – and your son notices this – it doesn’t feel good. It makes me feel like a bad mom. Ugh. I know that I should get up and walk because that will help my mood but I’m waiting on someone to come and work on the AC. Nothing is wrong, just a service check. So, I’m stuck, feeling down and tired with my head covered. I am so tired of covering my head.
I met with my oncologist this week and my blood work still looks good. I have one more TH treatment to do this coming Monday. One more! I can’t believe it. My oncologist said that she was proud of me for how well I have gone through this. We talked about changes that I needed to make in life (basically she indicated that she has aged me by 10 years). I told her that I had started meditating and she was delighted. I mentioned an online cite that I use and she asked me to write it down because she wanted to tell her other patients – patients that won’t join a yoga studio, etc. I was proud of some of these changes that I have made. Although, I think that I ate fairly well before all of this. I’ve added green tea everyday and I’m trying to eat more foods that may fight cancer growth (garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, raspberries). I’m also trying to be more active and I signed up for a summer yoga challenge at my yoga studio.
The next move is a PET scan and ultrasound on the lymph nodes on the left side scheduled for August 6th. These tests will help us make a decision on radiation.
I have come far but I still have a lot left to do. But things are looking bright.
It turns out that I am not enjoying sweets right now. I feel like a disappointment to my family… a party pooper. They all made ice cream sundaes tonight and we sat down to watch the World Cup. But I just don’t want the ice cream. I had some watermelon instead. Is my body telling me something? I think so. More veggies and fruit…. do everything that you can to strengthen your body.