Nervous

I’d be lying if I said that I was not nervous. Today I head in for my PET scan and ultrasound. It should have been yesterday but there was an equipment problem. I assume that my PET scan will be clean since it was before chemo. If it is not, well, I’m in trouble then. But I really hope that my lymph nodes look good. They were hypermetabolic on my first PET scan but that was right after my mastectomy. How they look now will determine the radiation plan. I don’t want radiation. I don’t see how I can fit radiation, work, and life together. Radiation is 30 min from my house and 45 from work. I keep telling myself that it will all work out. Everything will work out. What else is there to believe?

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